Your life’s non-negotiables…

I hereby interupt todays entry on ‘Obama talking points’ to bring you this – non-negotiable thing – apply it to life, dating, what have you…it was prompted by a talk with a single clueless friend but I’ve heard this story before and thought why not help the ’slim pickin’s challenged’? The truth is, you’d do well to know your ‘life’ non-negotiables just for everyday purposes, people treat you how you teach them you’ll allow yourself to be treated. I’m speaking from good/bad experience, it’s not a lecture, but even if it were, it’s content isn’t lost on it’s author : ) - responses to yesterday’s comments at the bottom : ) thank you for writing, I love receiving/hearing your q’s/opinions.  

Dating?? Oh and what would YOU know about that, you may be asking yourself?

Lots…please don’t make me elaborate : ) just cause my life is temporarily more complex than I’d like it doesn’t mean I suffer from ‘don’t know s**t’ syndrome…especially when it comes to non-negotiables.

I just think it’s funny that I have many friends who are looking for good men/women and yet they cannot answer my simple question: what are your non-negotiables? I finally got one friend to admit to one. No Republican men, hahaha…

She laughed, too, she knows I would. I’m an Independent just a titch on the conservative side but not so conservative I don’t concern myself with the notion that the Christian right would love to overturn Roe V Wade, a ridiculous undertaking in my opinion, so the supreme court justice appointments are important this election, I guess a fellow Independent might be best then? 

Anyway, back to non-negotiables…

My friend asked for some Zen Lilli dating non-negotiables examples to get her mind moving, yes, my dear pal is that sweetly clueless: so, here’s a few of mine, to me age is not an issue as long as the state of mind is open and the man has taken the time to keep body/mind/soul in good working order…preferably a dead or very reasonable ex-wife to deal with on those unavoidable ocassions, no wife ever is ok as long as said man understands the relationship drill or has had a lengthy something with someone at some point…no very young children…and a very obvious one: a well rounded individual who respects himself, me/women and others and is into being part of a mutual admiration society of two. It’d be cool if said person likes nature, and maybe some activities that I do though I have plenty of friends for that also. & maybe it should be a prerequisite to have read, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’??

Dang, I know all that and I haven’t even flown out of my gilded cage yet, what are you people doing??

If your single, how can you call yourself ‘looking’ when you don’t even know who/what you are seeking???

Ed, no those weren’t the life changing words but I enjoyed the read. Wanna guess again?! I’m cute? I haven’t heard that adjective to describe me since high school, hmmm…thanks. I agree with your assessment re: what immigrants to the US come here for, and they can get it. My ‘larger life’ thing was about perceptions…know many Americans who think it’s a great opportunity to raise their kids on $12/hr? I think probably not. Catch my meaning now? Entitlement fever…

Anonz, disrespect you ever?  Sweet pea, your ‘…methinks thou doth protest…’  comment made me laugh out loud, thanks for that, laughing is good for me and I like to do it as much as possible, my Zen peaceful mind is based on it’s importance. And thanks you for your honest admissions, I would have to agree that you will probably do more good than bad with the money so I’m pleased with your reformed ways. You’re a good man, and I don’t care what anyone else thinks/says about you ; )

 

Class for new lesbians is now in session!

ANONymous, my shy and private commenter: thank you, good idea, post my old site location, here it is: old blog site was/is www.lilliandevin.com/wordpress, where newbies can get caught up on archives of my edginess…! See you here again!

& today’s entry…

As we waited for the new steamerboy at Starbuck’s to screw up our blended mocha frapaccinos, my long standing pal, KK, was going off about an ex-squeeze who had now found religion and the bitch session was about her friend’s new found hypocrisy. I always thought that said chick was a bit of a hypocrite, she was newly married to a man when she started the two year affair with my friend. I’d given my pal, K, the minor scolding for that back then, but you know, why really? Married girl was clear that she liked women, but she wanted kids so she married someone who also wanted them a lot, someone safe and stable; he’s an obese man who apparently doesn’t require much in the way of sex. Qualifies as ‘usery’ on her part in my book, but maybe they both get what they want out of the deal, who knows and who am I to judge?

Anyway, now the couple invite KK over to see their new baby and go off on the biblical condemnation of gays…weird, and yes, hypocritical. While K and I are having this convo somehow we’d comandeered both sides of the Starbuck’s delivery counter. A man waiting for his coffee jokingly asks if he’ll be ‘allowed’ to collect his drink when the time comes; we laugh and he joins our convo, he said something funny like ‘…yeah I hate hypocrites, liars, too, at least when I’m being hypocritical I openly tell people that I’m a liar also…’ We both turned towards Mr. Interupter, and start talking, blah, blah, he’s got a kid named KK, blah, blah, blah, he checks our hands for rings, a smoothly covert gesture I thought, obviously a single dad of lil’ KK. He says his good-byes, K says, ‘I can see you dating someone like that. Funny, smart casual banter, tall, good-looking…big hands and feet…’ I stare at her. She adds, ‘Oh, I mean if you weren’t already married…’ Oh, uh-huh…you forgot? A few minutes later…

Outside at a table, she laments stories of gay women who have never had sex with a man and who frown about her admission that at one point in life she like the big D and penetration. I said incredulously, ‘wait, hold up, are you saying there are lesbians who have never had penetration of ANY kind and think that that’s a hetero activity only?’ Answer: yes. I was blown away, and said that I thought the fun part of even lesbian play was done with penetration in mind, only of the plastic injection molded sort. Oh no, she said, not with ’serious’ lesbians.

Then she tells me that some women like to get their indoctrination into the clan with ‘nice’ lesbians like her and often go back to men, you know, ‘I was just experimenting,’ but still I could tell it hurt her feelings to be used that way more than once. I actually said, and yes, without thinking (I can be that way sometimes), ‘what do they think you’re doing, running an ‘intro course’ for the curious?’ She fell over laughing. Then I got it, I’d said intro-course, hee hee, kind of an anti-lesbian class if you think about it, an’ intro course’ without ‘intercourse’…OK, well, if it’s not funny to you, I guess you just had to have been there. I was. It was.

Have any good gay pal stories of your own…?